Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize