The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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