Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You ate ashes out of my bong
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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