I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
