sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
