I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
