also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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