Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
