im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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