just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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