This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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