Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
