Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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