let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
