i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
