oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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