Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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