4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
