I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
