I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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