Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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