I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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