Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
