If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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