In the future we'll all be gay
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
