being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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