when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
