I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
