the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
