I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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