so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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