look no pants
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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