his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
