I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
