she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
