u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
