So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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