So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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