There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
