are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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