I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
