HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
