a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
