peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
be right there i have to get my cape
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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