saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
