was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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