I'm really into asian looking animals
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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