In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
