Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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