I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
