Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
