I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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