no, he came in my armpit
it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she told me i tasted like america
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize