Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
