He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
