3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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