..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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