just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
