ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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