we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
