Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize