i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
