On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
