you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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