there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
