Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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