I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize